Feeling Angry in Dubai? Counseling Can Help You Manage Your Anger
Feeling angry is a normal, universal human experience. How we express our anger varies across individuals and societies. The expression of anger is a learned behavior and is acquired in the family, school, workplace and the larger society.
According medical studies, the immediate thing to be aware of is that angry outbursts increase our heart rate, blood pressure, and “sticky” platelets are released into the blood stream potentially setting up life threatening conditions, such as suffering a heart attack or a stroke. Contrary to common belief, withholding angry outbursts will not cause any sort of inner explosion. Conversely, the angry outburst actually is harmful to our health.
Another critical point to have in mind is that everyone in the angry person’s environment is affected by angry outbursts. In the workplace for example, co-workers lose self-esteem, are less productive and suffer negative health effects. They call in sick more often and eventually will leave the organization. Spouses of angry people report much lower rates of marital happiness and higher rates of anxiety and depression. Children growing up in families where anger is not managed feel unsafe and unloved. This leaves psychological scars that take a long time to heal and if therapy is avoided, this dysfunctional pattern will continue for generations.
Anger Manifests in Two Ways:
- Obscene Language
- Unfavorable Comparisons to Others
- Threatening (violence and abandonment)
- Put Downs
- Insulting Remarks About Friends and Family
- Unequal Treatment
- Controlling Behaviors (money, space etc.)
- Exclusion from Decision Making …
- Being Held Down
- Any Physical Disrespect …
Managing Anger is a Sign of Strength
There is nothing easier than to explode in anger; however, the emotionally mature person uses strategies to understand triggers and understands ways of managing anger. It is beneficial to all of us that we make strides towards healthy expressions of anger.
Tips to Mange Anger
- Take the Time to Understand Yourself and Triggers: What Offends You? How do you feel about
- Unfair Treatment
Learn how to manage your trigger situations. Some you can simply avoid, and for others you can come up with appropriate things to say and do that will protect your needs and set healthy boundaries with others.
- Make a decision to respond and not react
- When you realize you are angry, take a moment to think. This lets you gather your thoughts to be able to state the problem on hand to work towards solving the issue.
- Know the difference between assertion and aggression
- An assertive statement could be: “I feel disrespected when I have to wait an hour for you to come. I expect you to be on time, or to kindly let me know that you are delayed.”
- Aggressive statements are often accusatory, contain generalizations like “always and never,” and are insulting in word choice and content.
- Take a Time Out
- Give yourself and others permission to “take a time out” for calming down, understanding the issue better, and coming together again for renewed discussion and problem solving.
- Identify Repeat Issues
- You do not have to get angry about the same thing over and over again. Find solutions for solvable problems, see them through, and follow up.
- Know when you are up against an unsolvable problem and try respectful acceptance.
- Change How You Think About Some Things
- For example, if you think your unruly 2 year old is defying you on purpose, you might want to reconsider. Maybe the child is tired, hungry, or simply unable to manage his feelings due to his young age.
- If you feel disrespected and outraged by a traffic incident bring to mind that many drivers have not had the educational and experiential opportunities of safe and polite driving.
- Take Care of Yourself
- Follow good self-care guidelines that include healthy eating, good sleep, relaxation, mindfulness, hobbies, social, and spiritual needs.
- Consider Counseling
- If you feel that you cannot manage your anger, consider seeing a counselor to address deep-seated issues to begin your journey of recovery
- If you need to get a head start on learning to communicate positively with a spouse or other persons of significance
- If you need information on positive parenting
- If you feel that your alcohol consumption is implicated in your anger
- Express Your Expectations
- Unexpressed expectations are resentments waiting to happen. Ask for what you need to avoid feeling hurt and angry.
As Robert Fulghum said,
“Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.”
Allan, R (2006). Getting control of your anger. New York: McGraw-Hill